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Got the good news that we got a new house to live in for Christmas!!!! Packing up this month and I am actually going to make sure every single box and bin is marked and when time to move one room at a time is emptied and put into the truck. I want everything put in the truck in an orderly fashion and not just tossed in and each room is cleared out and then as it is cleared out it is swept and washed. My dad doesn't need these rooms dirty when we leave as he will still be here showing the house till it sells. I have talked to him about some of my mother's stuff and what he would like me to take with me. I am taking her sewing machine, her china cabinet, and the Nick Knacks that are in it and of course dad wants the ones that mean something to him. My sister and I split the china up and her individual tea cups and we gave some of them as well to my nieces and sister in law and the closest family friends. We did that after my mother passed away as she wished it would happen. Sighs it will be hard to leave my dad as he is still going through things and still mourning her loss but he told me I have to go and live my life and he will be fine. My brother lives in town and so he will be close by if dad needs anything and I talked to my brother and sister in law and they said of course they will be around to help dad and help him move into a new place when he finds a new house.

Lol the main concern of my little one is that her Christmas elves will be able to find her and our new house and make sure all her favorite stuffies will be coming with us. OMG and packing her things up I cannot believe how many things she still has even after we downsized her toys!!!! My better half has more clothes than I do and more cologne than I have with only two bottles lol. I have packed all my sewing and craft stuff, and all my books and closed down my altar for now and have that safely packed each thing carefully wrapped and even my candles are protected.

IF anyone has moved you know even though you think you downsized you find yourself wondering what the blooming hell did I get all these things from and how am I am going to pack everything and it is going to fit into your house and what do you really need? Now especially when I do not want to leave anything of my mother's behind and sold after how do you really choose what is more important when you feel everything is important and special? As I pack up I find new things of hers that I want to take with me but I really do not have room for and I think if I don't take this now I might regret it later.

Now this weather has turned into cold and wet and just plain miserable moving now is not what I am looking forward too. I am looking forward to living in the country again and surrounded by my old friends, having my own kitchen again to fill it with the smells of baking and good things to eat. Having my candles everywhere and my own bathroom again as this place has two bathrooms a main one and an in suite bathroom yay!!!!! So anyway I am looking forward to being in our own place again.

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Vampirewitch39
16:49 Oct 31 2023

Congrats on the new home. While a pain to move, it will be worth it.

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For the first time in many many years there is snow on the ground for Halloween. We have been so lucky for the past years and our kids are going out with snow boots and hat and mittens snow suits with their costumes over the top of them lol. They look like they have eaten to much candy even before they start.

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Vampirewitch39
23:33 Oct 30 2023

Haha.. the image in my head at that. :) Hope they stay safe, warm

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Today is my late mother's birthday. My father called me and asked me to make her favorite birthday cake that I used to always make her. A white cake with almonds and coconut, and I will do that for him of course. He started to cry and said to me it is your mother's birthday. I said I know dad and of course I will do whatever you wish for mom's birthday. OMG I tried to hold back the tears when he started to cry, especially when he said I don't want to be a blubbering idiot about this damn cake. I said dad no no it Is alright you are allowed to be sad and you are allowed to celebrate mom anyway you want. He went on to say that people might think I am crazy wanting a cake for her birthday even though she is dead. OMG I just almost broke down again but I just said dad you are allowed to grieve mom in your own way and no would think of you any differently especially if they are your friends or family. Now did I handle this properly? My dad seems okay on the outside most times but I know he still lost on the inside.

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Theodora
13:11 Nov 08 2023

I think what you said are very wise words. People grieve in their own ways and for different lengths of time. Often times, with grief, I will think I am "done" with the grief process, but something will trigger a memory and I am grieving again. I think giving him permission (since he does not seem to give himself permission) to grieve was a beautiful thing to do.

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CountessLili
15:56 Nov 10 2023

Thank you for that. Their anniversary was November 1 as well. That was really the hardest day for him as it would have been their 54 year. People say the first year after a death is really the hardest, it is especially hard when birthday, wedding anniversary and Christmas are so close together it is even harder. Now that he is selling the house they lived in for many years we feel that that is moving too fast but we have to let him do what he feels he needs to do. We try to just be patient with him and sometimes he comes around and says your right I guess I should wait on things. It is a juggling act and emotional strain when someone you love is going through so much and you have to just stand by and let them be, even though you know they will regret things later. My mom was my dad's soul mate and when she passed away a part of him died too. The hardest for him he knew she didn't have long and was prepared for it but really you are not because there is that little bit inside saying no I am not ready to let my loved one go.

So we just have to be there for him and support him no matter what and how we think he is doing something he will regret in the end.

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